


It Takes the Truth to Fool Me

by jamestiqueeriuskirk



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon), Marvel, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Crack, Crying After Sex, Drama Queen Loki, Epiphanies, First Kiss, First Time, Impregnation Kink, Loki is just a spiteful and unreliable narrator, M/M, Oblivious Loki (Marvel), References to Norse Religion & Lore, Seduction, Sibling Incest, Size Kink, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Top Thor (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 06:23:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14466864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamestiqueeriuskirk/pseuds/jamestiqueeriuskirk
Summary: After he recovered from the initial shock of learning Thor was in love with him (didn’t just “come home, brother,” “let me help you, brother,” love him but desired him as well, wanted to throw him down in the middle of battle and ravish him – his own brother – wanted to take him hard and fast on hands and knees— Loki stopped thinking about it and got a glass of ice water, because it was making him a little sweaty) he decided the only thing for it would be to seduce him.There were a number of reasons this was a good, reasonable, practical – just pragmatic, really – plan: regular proximity would afford him a readymade closer strike point, next time he needed one; the intimacy might inspire Thor to spill valuable Avengers’ secrets that could be all kinds of useful to Loki; it might earn him Thor’s lenience (it was already no challenge to escape Avengers’ custody, but it wouldn’t hurt if Thor went even easier on him. Maybe Thor wouldn’t rearrange Loki’s face so severely next time they tussled if he thought it would hurt his chances of rearranging Loki’s guts later).





	It Takes the Truth to Fool Me

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing too much angst lately, this feels so much more "me." Maybe a little too "me," actually, I probably should have reigned myself in in places.
> 
> Anyway, the title is from the Scissor Sisters' song "I Can't Decide," which is like a Loki anthem, and yes, in Avengers Assemble canon Thor is actually a high school dropout, or the Asgardian version, anyway. He gets his GED in 2.10, "Back to the Learning Hall."

Loki put his scepter down when he realized it was just Amora who’d broken into his lovely, parkside, illegitimately-rented apartment. He wasn’t really happy to see her – who would be? At best, she was a mediocre ally, and her obsession with Thor was sooo unbelievably tedious, didn’t she know what it was like to be around her? – but he was relieved. He really hadn’t wanted to engage the Avengers in battle whilst in his bunny slippers.

Or entertain von Doom.

“Oh, go away, I’m not speaking to you,” he told her. He wasn’t sure if he was actually mad at her, or had any cause to be, at the moment – it was hard to keep track; they had what a Midgardian morning show host might have called a “stormy relationship,” – but it was a safe enough bet.

“Then this must be Valhalla.”

Oh, ha ha ha. Looked like he was correct and they weren’t on good terms right now, though he wasn’t sure what _he’d_ done.

“What do you want, Amora?” he asked

“To tell you what _Thor_ wants.”

What insufferable arrogance, that Amora thought she could possibly have insights into his brother’s desires that Loki did not have already. Or insights about his brother at all. _No one_ knew Thor better than he, and that included this wretched witch. Included Sif. Included the good Doctor Jane Foster. Included every tavern wench in all the nine.

“A never-ending supply of Midgardian snack foods? Be on your way.” It wasn’t a fair assessment of his brother’s character: it was basically a cheap potshot, but Loki was pretty sure those fell under at least one of his godly domains, and no one would _ever_ accuse Loki of being fair, if only because he would defend against the encroachment on his territory as the god of lies.

Amora didn’t dignify that with a response. Loki wouldn’t have, either, unless he could think of a really good one, and he hadn’t given her much to work with. She had a sour look on her face.

“As you know, Thor has been the object of my attentions for some time.”

Of course, he knew. When you’re _that obvious_ about being in love with someone, _everyone_ can see it, especially when you never shut up about the one you’re after.

He crossed his arms and waited for her to continue.

“But time and time again he’s turned me down! ‘What was I doing wrong,’ I wondered, in agony.”

“Could it be that you are vile and villainous and he wants nothing to do with you?” Was she actually going to say anything new _or_ interesting? Both might be too much to hope for. He’d do partial credit.

“No, of course not,” she said.

“No, of course not,” Loki agreed.

“So, in a fit of desperation, I finally turned to plan ᛉ: a spell to change myself into the person who Thor desires most in the whole world. Someone Thor finds irresistible. Someone Thor _loves_. And someone Thor would never turn down, should they proposition him, so I might at least have him for one night.”

Totally in character and, morally speaking, very, _very_ dubious (not that Loki could say with honesty that he cared, but it was nice to pretend he could lord superiority over Amora in one more area still, since it was so much fun to be her better in mind and talent. They were solidly tied for nicest ass.)

“After it was done, I took a look in the mirror to plan my character accordingly – I had a directory of Midgardian paramedic terminology on hand, in case – and do you know what happened?”

A better question was “do you care what happened?” and he was sure she would tell him, anyway, but the answer to both was the same. “No.”

“My mirror cracked, because it had never before had anything as _ugly_ as _you_ in it!”

_WHAT?_

-

Amora hadn’t just come to give him a tip, of course. She’d come to fight, perhaps hoping she would be next in line for Thor’s attentions if the object of incestuous fixation was purged.

Poor dear, always blaming her problems on someone else, always thinking all her solutions lied with besting a tormentor she’d appointed. Talk about external locus of control.

It was sad, really.

Loki made quick work of her, wrapped her up in a bow and dropped her on the All-father’s doorstep with a gift receipt and then got to cleaning up his battered apartment.

-

After he recovered from the initial shock of learning Thor was in love with him (didn’t just “come home, brother,” “let me help you, brother,” love him but _desired him_ as well, wanted to throw him down in the middle of battle and _ravish_ him – his own _brother_ – wanted to take him hard and fast on hands and knees— Loki stopped thinking about it and got a glass of ice water, because it was making him a little sweaty) he decided the only thing for it would be to seduce him.

There were a number of reasons this was a good, reasonable, practical – just pragmatic, really – plan: regular proximity would afford him a readymade closer strike point, next time he needed one; the intimacy might inspire Thor to spill valuable Avengers’ secrets that could be all kinds of useful to Loki; it might earn him Thor’s lenience (it was already no challenge to escape Avengers’ custody, but it wouldn’t hurt if Thor went even easier on him. Maybe Thor wouldn’t rearrange Loki’s face so severely next time they tussled if he thought it would hurt his chances of rearranging Loki’s guts later).

He could brag about succeeding where Amora continued to fail.

It would be a wonderful trick on Thor, too. His dear, trusting brother would be so pleased to get his heart’s desire, so earnest, not knowing Loki would be snickering internally the whole time, mocking all the loving words Thor would not doubt lavish him with. Thor would think he was finally gaining ground in Loki’s rehabilitation, and would say all kinds of embarrassing things with total sincerity, and Loki would get to hear them all, privately thrilling in them.

Yes, that would really show his brother.

It was only eleven o’ clock, and there was no time like the present, so Loki popped upstate.

He took a magical peek into the Avengers’ mansion. His brother was on the couch in the central sitting room, keeping the Hulk company. They were playing some sort of fighting game. The avatars were Japanese snack foods.

Idiot. Boor. What did Amora see in him?

Loki flicked sand into the beast’s eyes until he roared a yawn, forfeited the match, and retired to his chambers.

After he was gone, Thor went into the kitchen for a midnight snack, which was as good a place as any to kick off Loki’s plan.

He materialized in front of his brother and caught the glass he dropped before it shattered. It would be no good to make so much noise the other Avengers came running.

“Loki!” Thor cried, settling into a defensive stance.

“Peace, brother,” Loki said, holding up his hand in a gesture of it. “I come to extend an olive branch.”

Or two, to pervert the metaphor.

“I would be glad to hear it if I didn’t know well your lying ways,” Thor said, not relaxing.

Ah, as always, Thor had his number. Good thing Loki now had Thor’s.

“No lies, brother—” a lie. “And no tricks—” a trick. “Just an overdue heart-to-heart.”

And then a different sort of organ-to-organ if that went off without a hitch. Oh, he was really on a roll with the sex metaphors.

Hope flickered across Thor’s idiotic face, as Loki knew it would, but he still looked cautious, guarded. “Why does this come now?” he asked. “For years I have been trying to get you to sit and talk with me.”

“We finally have something to talk about, brother.”

Thor let Loki pad closer to him. He shut the refrigerator in anticipation of a long conversation.

“Not an hour ago Amora came to my apartment and shared her newest plan to seduce you. I dispatched her to Asgard; you’re welcome.”

“I appreciate the warning, brother, but Amora has been pestering me for centuries.” Thor was clearly nonplussed. “Our father’s dungeons never hold her long, and she will surely be back, but I can fend her off fine, on my own.”

“But can you fend off your heart’s one, true desire just as easily?”

“What do you mean?” Thor frowned, still just confused. Not guilty, not like someone who was aware their heart had a one, true desire, much less that the one, true desire was their criminal, little brother.

In the mortal mundanity of the comfortably lit kitchen of the Avengers’ mansion, actually facing his brother, Loki had a moment where he found what Amora had told him impossible to believe. How could perfect, golden Thor lust after his ugly, defective brother? How could heroic Thor want villainous Loki? But Amora wasn’t half so tricky as Loki, and her anger had been too real to be one of her lackluster performances. She’d been telling the truth. Finally, Loki had the upper hand against Thor. He let it hearten him. It didn't just inspire a swell of victory – it was strangely warming, also.

“Desperate Amora has cooked up a spell to change her shape to that of the one you most want in all the nine realms, brother. Of course, as Amora’s plans are wont to do, it didn’t work out quite as she’d hoped. Do you know what she’d turned into?”

It looked like he did. Thor’s face fell and did some highly amusing bouncing when it painfully crash-landed. “Brother, I…”

Loki took a menacing step towards Thor, and then realized it was menacing, so didn’t take another. They were pretty close, already, anyway.

“I swear, Loki,” Thor said. “You have my word you have nothing to fear from me. I have kept it to myself for centuries. Nothing needs change. I will stay well away from—”

“Brother,” Loki interrupted, smiling in a way he thought was endearing, encouraging, and solicitous, but in reality, only made it look like he was about to give his panicking brother a snake oil elevator pitch, or maybe a knife to the ribs, or maybe one after the other, and not necessarily in that order. “My _only_ issue is that you kept this a secret from me.”

And Loki was ready to spell it out plainly for his stupid, high school dropout brother, but comprehension dawned. And then comprehension became excitement.

“You… you mean it?”

“Of course. I don’t lie _all_ the time, you know.” Just when and where it counted.

Thor looked like Yule had come early.

Loki found himself thrown against the refrigerator. And the recipient of a fierce kiss. And shocked. He had kind of been expecting a bit more of a fight, even if it was a token one, lip service to the moral standards Thor and his friends were supposed to be upholding as Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. He’d thought his good, noble brother – no matter how hopelessly in love with him – would be a _little_ more conflicted about sleeping with his own villainous, dishonorable one. For _at least_ two reasons, each of them with a whole set of subsections. It seemed Amora had really not been kidding when she said Thor wanted him: she’d been understating.

He’d come prepared with his best: he was going to pull out all the stops – going to remind Thor of every touching anecdote from their shared past, going to tell Thor he loved him better than anyone else in the nine realms, going to cry and ask if Thor had meant it all those times he spoke of how he wanted to redeem Loki with his love and whether he might like to try a direct injection – but it turned out he only needed to go along for the ride.

And, well _, what a ride it was going to be_ , he realized when Thor ground his presumptuous erection against his hip.

Thor kissed him halfway to the gates of Valhalla and then pulled back. Loki chased his mouth, not wanting to hear whatever boring, sentimental thing Thor had to say.

He didn’t want to be wooed. What _had_ he been thinking earlier? It didn’t seem half as funny anymore, now that the possibility of hearing Thor’s tender words loomed close and real, and it would have distracted him from his seduction. He had a mission, and just because it was easy didn’t mean it couldn’t go disastrously wrong.

He swiped his tongue against Thor’s lips, and Thor opened his mouth eagerly for him, sucking his tongue inside.

Purely mechanically, Loki’s cock began to rise. As expected. He wouldn’t have undertaken this plan if he’d had worries he would fail to perform. He was a very convincing actor.

Sometimes he could even get away with lying to himself.

He pawed at Thor’s shirt, readying to snake his hands underneath it, but something seemed to occur to Thor, for he grabbed Loki around his middle and held him at arms’ length.

“Wait,” Thor said cautiously, searching Loki’s face, a dark storm brewing in his eyes. “ _Brother_ … you said Amora can now change her shape to—”

“Oh, for the love of mayhem—” and Loki loved it very much “— _I_ am not _Amora_!”

His characteristic exasperation seemed to satisfy Thor. Thor knew him. And, in a moment, they were going to _know_ each other a lot better. The dark look dissolved, and he heaved Loki up by the waist and spun him around, laughing. Loki’s immune system must have been compromised, because it was almost infectious.

Loki let his brother lead him by the hand up three flights of stairs to his bedroom. He let his brother free them both of their clothing. He let his brother kiss him some more and then he let his brother suck his cock.

It wasn’t until Thor had him on his bed, greasing up his own cock in preparation to _have him on his bed_ that Loki realized he wasn’t lying back and thinking of ruling Asgard at all.

 _Oh, Norns,_ he thought, while he still could, just before Thor’s big cock pushed all the thoughts out of his body through his ears to make room for itself. _I am in love with this idiot, too._

Loki held on for dear, immortal life. Thor gathered him up in his arms, which Loki really did appreciate, because otherwise the halves of his body would have gotten lost from one another when Thor was finished splitting him in two.

Thor gave him time to adjust – though once it was all totaled up about a thousand years too little of it – kissing his cheeks, his fluttering eyelashes, and, less innocently, his gaping mouth.

Loki felt himself being washed away, and he couldn’t tell whether Thor was the tide or an anchor. Either way, he latched on tight, kissing his brother back and wrapping his legs around Thor’s hips.

Loki bit Thor’s lip, and Thor growled low and deep before taking control of the kiss out of Loki’s hands.

He mapped Loki’s mouth with his tongue so slowly and thoroughly, staking claim to it in the worst possible way, so that Loki would remember what it was like to have been ravaged there for thousands of years to come.

And when his brother was satisfied, or perhaps just concerned about how hard Loki was shaking, he pulled back.

Thor had something else to say, and this time he wouldn’t be silenced. He couldn’t see that his voice might turn Loki to dust. He probably wouldn’t see until it happened, and _then_ he would be sorry, but Loki would (pretend) _not_ (to) forgive him.

“For once, you have surprised me in the best possible way, brother,” Thor said, his voice as ragged as it was appreciative, though not nearly as ragged as Loki was.

“So good to know you thought so highly of my potential,” Loki said, though his toes were curling as viciously as his tongue. He felt so very  _full._

“Peace, brother,” Thor parroted back Loki’s soothing words from earlier and then kissed him into silence and halfway to submission, like it was the natural, obvious method and they’d done it hundreds of times before. Loki had to admit it was very effective and he’d probably entrapped himself into having it used against him very often in the future.

Good job, Laufeyjarson.

Actually, he wasn’t sure if he was mocking or congratulating himself. Or what was up and what was down, for that matter, and he wasn’t able to deliberate coherently for long.

Thor rocked into him experimentally, just shallowly, and then changed angles and did it again. On the third try, he struck gold.

Loki moaned, and then when Thor thrust next he wailed. Thor sped up, and the wailing became a regular thing.

“Good?” Thor asked, grinning at him hopefully.

Loki would admit in private aside – though under no other circumstances whatsoever – that his brother was not stupid, so he knew he did not really need Loki to confirm that, which was good, because it wouldn’t have been possible to answer him any more articulately than he already was.

Thor drove him into the mattress. He was all smiles. Well, all smiles and cock, and both were absolutely merciless in their assault. Every so often, Thor would change pace, or angle, or hitch Loki’s legs higher, and each adjustment was better and worse than the last.

Loki had never realized this was how he was going to die.

After a while, Thor scooped him up in his arms and reversed their positions.

 _Oh, great,_ Loki thought, bouncing on his brother’s cock without hesitation. _Now I have to be active, not just complicit._

Thor smiled up at him, and Loki tossed his head back just so he wouldn’t have to look at it. He was dealing with enough, as it was. He needed “me time.” Thor kissed and sucked at his exposed neck, and Loki couldn’t help but grind even harder down onto Thor’s cock, long, full movements, practically unseating himself each rise so he could feel the full slide of reentry each fall. It was a very lengthy trip both ways.

Loki’s legs were shaking. His mind was telling him it was time to collapse and lick his wounds, but his body was possessed like that of an injured man still running on adrenaline because he was not yet to safety. And his heart, well, he was going to return the damn thing for store credit, because it was telling him to exchange gentle words with his brother and schedule the hand-tying ceremony for yesterday.

Loki’s breathing was shaky, too. He was still trying to find his second wind after the realization that he was sadly in love with his pathetic brother had knocked the first one out of him.

And Thor’s desperate thrusts weren’t helping him catch his breath, because that big cock was making it impossible to stop screaming long enough to inhale.

Somewhere along the way his cries had solidified into words, but they were just “brother, _brother_ , oh yes, brother, oh _yes, brother, Thor_ ,” and more of the embarrassing like.

Thor had one of his hands digging into Loki’s ass. He put his other around Loki’s cock and pumped it.

Loki’s head fell with a snap, which brought him back within the radiation zone of his brother’s dangerously earnest look of amazement.

Loki threw himself back at Thor’s mouth, not just to spare himself the look but because he really, truly wanted to, all the gods he knew personally and maybe even their Greco-Roman downstairs neighbors and Celtic Facebook friend suggestions help him.

Thor caught and released the kiss then pressed his forehead against Loki’s, still working his fist steadily. And every time he impaled Loki the thick head of his cock swiped his prostate. “Brother, this is the most joyous day of my life.”

 _That makes one of us,_ Loki thought sourly before coming harder than he’d ever come before.

And that was saying something, because he’d lain with a veritable and also literal menagerie over the years, so he’d had some wild nights.

-

After his legs reverted back from their gelatinous state and might have actually held him up if he’d stood – and it took a long time, indeed, to return to homeostasis – his first instinct was to retreat, but that would not have been tactical.

And his brother wanted to _cuddle._

Mawkish. Saccharine. _Pathetic_.

“Brother, are you crying?”

“No,” Loki sniffled, burying his face against Thor’s chest because it was the closest thing in reach, and not because it felt very nice.

His brother took his face in one large, rough hand – this same hand had smacked him across their father’s great hall in innumerable childhood squabbles, this same hand had struck him down in more serious battle an ever-climbing number of times, this same hand had just tugged his cock to orgasm, gods, how could Loki be so stupid in every way it was possible to be stupid in, and how could Thor enable him when he claimed to love him – and tilted him until he was forced to see his brother’s concern through the misty screen of his tears.

“A liar, still, I see,” Thor joked, pretty gently, maybe hoping to tease a smile out of him. Naïve idiot. Unparalleled, shining, naïve idiot with a beautiful, glorious cock that had just made Loki see visions of Ragnarok so hard that he accidentally tuned in to the Christian station two degrees down and saw visions of Revelations as well.

“Were you expecting otherwise, brother?” Loki decided he’d try lashing out, which was a standby favorite method of his. So far, it wasn’t working out too well, but he kept doing it, anyway. 397,567,923rd time’s the charm. “Did you think I would lay with you and be reborn the god of flower arrangements?”

Thor scoffed and shook his head very slowly. “Of course not. I know my cock is not magic.”

“Actually, it is. You _are_ a fertility god.”

“Oh, yes. Was that why you screamed ‘yes, please, knock me up,’ when I came inside you?”

Loki didn’t let his expression change. He still had lies left in him. “Yes, it was an involuntary reflex, like kicking when a healer taps a mallet under your kneecap.”

“Strange, no one else has ever—”

Loki slapped him very hard.

“What was that for!” Thor thundered, rubbing his cheek.

“To punish you for your idiocy!” Loki roared at comparable volume, not afraid of Thor’s teammates rushing in. The soundproofing spell he’d cast over the walls of the bedroom when his fingertips had failed to meet, wrapped around his brother’s cock, and he’d realized he couldn’t possibly stay silent once the abomination was put inside him was still firmly in place.

“Haven’t you done enough of that? I thought you came to me tonight because you wanted us to be past it.”

Loki choked. Thor fixed him with a stern stare. “You did come here with sincere intentions, didn’t you, brother?”

Loki rearranged his features in under a split second, until he could feel the unctuousness radiating from his own cheeks like a sunburn. “But of course, Thor, I—” he stopped, is what he did, because the damage had already been done.

“So, you found out I wanted you and your first thought was to… _seduce me_ … as a trap? A trick?”

Loki nodded miserably.

Thor, to Loki’s surprise and reflexive indignation, burst out laughing.

“What is it?” Loki demanded, prodding his brother very hard in the ribs.

“Oh, Loki,” Thor said, once he had calmed down, and then started back up again, and then calmed down a second time. “I think the only trick you’ve played tonight was on yourself.”

Loki gritted his teeth. “Yes, I see that now.”

Thor had a goofy smile on his face, and it made Loki incensed that he wanted to kiss it off, not punch it away. He might try punching it, yet, even though he knew already it was doomed not to make him feel any better. “While it might not have been the reason I would have wanted you to seek me out, I am pleased beyond measure it all worked out so well,” he said, rubbing his thumb over Loki’s cheek.

“Did it?” Loki asked poisonously.

“If you wish to go, there is the door.” Arrogant Thor, so confident that Loki would not leave.

Correct, but annoyingly so.

“I despise you,” Loki told him.

“Brother, I know better than to believe the god of lies.”

**Author's Note:**

> Every morning Loki looks in the mirror and tells himself "you are a heartless career girl. You love nothing except discount chocolate and wine the day after Valentine's Day. Men are obstacles or tools. Use them, abuse them, lose them. You're frigid and will conquer the world," and then his home phone, which he has because this is a late eighties rom-com, rings and he immediately runs to answer it in case it's Thor.
> 
>  
> 
> [Thotki.tumblr.com](https://thotki.tumblr.com)


End file.
